Instruction As A Form of Love

As a mom to a growing toddler (Gabbie just turned two last Sunday!), I find new meaning to the age-old reputation of moms being “naggers”. Day in and day out, I remind Gabbie to say “please” about ten times a day when he asks for anything, to wear his slippers about twenty times, and to talk instead of whining for the most part of the day.

A few days ago, I found myself telling him in exasperation, “Reminding you to wear your slippers is all I do, and you still don’t do it.”

Giving instructions to Gabbie is not always tiresome. It’s a nice feeling to be able to impart something useful to my child, and he’s a smart boy. He responds well and grasps concepts quite easily. I find joy in instructing him to count one to 10 with me, in drawing lines on his blackboard, in getting him to march with me. I love it when his Daddy gives him instructions while playing drums and he obeys. We’re very amused when he goes to bring his dirty clothes to his hamper or the pack of toilet paper to our room when unpacking groceries, upon our instruction.

But whatever the instruction, I discovered that getting into the painstaking, nitty-gritty instruction process with my child is A LOT of work.

It’s getting into his mental level, breaking down every single instruction (and making it appealing for a toddler!), and mustering up all the patience in the event that he doesn’t get it, doesn’t obey, or wants to do something else.

Sometimes, I find myself wanting to let some instructions go, especially if I hear somebody telling me that I’m being too paranoid or careful. But if I see Gabbie going towards a potential disaster, I realize that I still have more patience tucked away hidden for emergency “fun” instructionals to veer him away from such encounters. And I’ll ask, what mom doesn’t?

We began talking to Gabbie early, and giving instructions to him in a loving, non-bossy (but authoritative) manner has gotten him used to accepting and being able to obey two- or three-part instructions such as, “Gabbie, please pack away your book and put back in the bookshelf. Then, let’s brush your teeth.”

When it comes to those repetitive instructions that he needs to be reminded of again and again, I just do them…again and again, as needed.

Why? Because I love him and I want the best for him.

When God brought out the Israelites from the punishing clutches of Egypt, He gave very, very particular instructions to them through Moses. Beyond the 10 Commandments, there were instructions for how to build their altar, how and what they should offer as burnt sacrifices, from protection of property, social responsibility to laws of justice and mercy (Exodus 19-23).

God knew his people and he was exacting, thorough and firm. He did not want them straying toward a wayward path. To his children, he provided faithful, unwavering guidance through his instructions.

I believe the same is needed for our children, and by God’s example, the same is required of us.

As we “take pains” in giving instructions we’ve given a hundred times over, let God’s joy find us with the revelation that it is out God-given duty to instruct our children.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

It is the same love that hugs our children goodnight that gives them the instruction they need to hear in order to obey. Let’s be faithful in both.

Taking this a step further, we’re contemplating on homeschooling Gabbie. Wow, talk about formalizing my role as his instructor. Haha! Nevertheless, I believe it can be done. It’s not because of my personality or my experience (I taught once before to preschool children but quit), but because of my heart to obey God. If he says we homeschool, then we shall! This deserves a different post altogether but thought I’d share this little piece of info just to you know…get it out of my chest. Haha.

Anyway, to end, I’d like to encourage moms NOT to be naggers, but to be faithful instructors. Herein lies the difference between the two: The latter comes from a place of love and will always be done in love. I believe our children will almost always know the difference. I hope we will be as keen too, Mommas!

Tipid "Me-Times"

Much has been said about every mom’s need for “me-time”. From trips to nail salons, girls’ night out, shopping to eating out, we have a lot of options. But what if the family’s on a tight budget and though time out may not be the issue, money is?

Could Mommy still afford to get some “me-time”?

Of course!

Here are some of my free or inexpensive “me-time” ideas that you might want to try:

1.     Have tea.

Either I grab a P100 and go to our nearest milk tea place by myself (I can surf online or DO NOTHING uninterrupted!) or I buy flavored tea in the grocery and enjoy a hot mug at home curled up with a good book, inside our LOCKED bedroom or when baby's taking a nap. I recommend Celestial Seasonings natural teas. Their blends are soothing and delicious.

2.     Swim.

You know that feeling like you’re all uptight and rolled up, with your muscles unstretched and your mind’s reeling from things you’re doing, and on what else you should be doing, and so on and so forth. Moms, you know what I’m talking about, right? Sometimes, multi-tasking just takes its toll and I end up feeling constricted. A cool swim does wonders! It stretches my entire body and I feel my blood circulating again (seriously!). Well, exercise really does this for us but I chose swimming because we have a pool in our condo complex so I get to exercise for free, plus I can really “get away” in the pool. Just me and the water. Tip: If you don’t have a pool, I’m sure you know somebody who lives in a condo near you. Call up that friend and ask if you can swim in their condo pool for an hour.

3.     Talk.

Talking seems to be most women’s favorite pastime. It’s a stress reliever. So do it, but try it with your journal or your phone’s voice recorder, or your laptop’s video camera, in the privacy of your room. Writing is my method of choice so I curl up with my journal and just write, write, write. It’s a healthier way to rant away any negative stuff I had to deal with, and it’s a fantastic way to remind myself of my countless blessings. Inevitably, most of my journal entries turn to prayers, love letters I direct to God Himself.

4.     Take a hot shower.

Seriously, there’s nothing like warm/hot water to soothe those tired muscles, and reinvigorate a tired Momma! Slather on some moisturizing body butter or lotion after because, if you’re like me, dry skin is essentially just “bad trip”. I recommend Human Nature’s Body Butter in Mango Passion or Body Lotion in Vanilla scent.

5.     Have a beauty experiment.

I used to practice doing the smoky eye look during stay-home me-times, or putting together a new outfit using old pieces I have in my closet. When I became a mom, I don’t get to experiment so often now on my best look when we’re about to go out. I tend to just put on whatever is easiest to find. But now, I’m appreciating makeup a bit more, and enjoying putting together outfits again during my special alone times. When I can’t go to a nail salon, I also paint my nails and enjoy the luxury of having beautiful, painted nails without the scare of nippers. Read more about that fear here http://thegratefulmom.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-secret.html

6.     Go to a bookstore.

Okay, maybe this won’t apply to everyone as not everybody enjoys reading. But there’s something about bookstores that’s really comforting for me. I spend hours in OMF Bookstore, which is just near our house, and I could really de-stress in any Fully-Booked, or National Book Store. I choose several titles, put them on my lap and settle myself on a seat or even on the floor and just read away. I also love that I can easily pick up a book for pasalubong too for my little bookworm, Gabbie.

What about you, what’s your cheapo me-time idea? J

Hoisin Glazed Salmon Fillet and Sauteed Mushroom & Veggies

Our gourmet meal for the week was a healthy one. I wanted to include Salmon in our menu because its packed with Omega 3-fatty acids that are good for the heart, and for the brain. It may be a bit pricey but its nutritional content certainly makes it worth it. I thought this would be a better splurge than on steaks or any other beef meat. 

These two dishes combined made for some healthy, flavorful fare that cost more or less P300 with a serving size that fed three adults plus one toddler in our home. My little Gabbie couldn't get enough of it!

Only two Salmon slabs left! I snapped up a pic before it was completely gone!

Note that the Salmon recipe in this dish was derived from this website:

http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/hoisin_glazed_salmon/

but I replaced the lime juice with dalandan (go local!) and I cooked it in our turbo broiler instead of in a broiler pan. Worked just as well!

This is worth a try, Mommas!

Hoisin Glazed Salmon

Ingredients:

250 grams salmon steaks

1 clove garlic, crushed

2 tbsp Lee Kum Kee Hoisin sauce

1 ½ tbsp soy sauce

1 tspn muscovado sugar

½ dalandan squeezed (remove seeds)

salt, pepper

Steps:

1.     Marinate the salmon steaks with all the other ingredients for 30 minutes to 1 hour. Store in the ref while doing so.

2.     Cover your turbo broiler’s rack with foil.

3.     Carefully line up the steaks onto the rack and drizzle with remaining marinade.

4.     Heat up the turbo broiler to 200 degrees for 10 minutes.

5.     Cook your veggies while the fish is cooking.

Sauteed Mushroom & Veggies

Ingredients:

2 cloves garlic, minced

100 grams fresh Baguio beans

100 grams young corn

1 can sliced mushrooms

1 tbsp butter

Salt, pepper

Steps:

1.     Saute garlic in Canola or Olive oil.

2.     Saute mushrooms. When softened, add Baguio beans and young corn. Toss, then add ½ cup water. Cover for 1 minute.

3.     Add butter then add salt, pepper.

4.     Lower the heat, then cover for another minute or less, making sure your beans are still crunchy. Serve while hot.

In Need of Grace

Today, I feel like I’m running on empty. Struggling to keep my tone even to my extra-kulit, super active, energetic toddler, I know my patience is wearing thin. And I know that he’s just getting started (he’s barely two).

It’s just the small things put together that cause a bit of wear and tear to a stay-at-home mom, and I know that I could use a break.

It’s because of today that I decided to write this article because I know I need it.

In the two years that I’ve been a mom, I have come to realize two things: That I’m no expert, and that I’ll always be needing grace.

Parenting in itself is a challenge, and I’m far from perfect. If that were all that there was in this whole equation, I’d have panicked and given up.

Thankfully, my God assured me that is not the case. He said, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deutoronomy 31:8

I’m thankful that I have Him, and I’m especially grateful for His grace.

For His purpose gives us purpose, and makes sense out of frenetic days.

And His grace has assures me that though I may have bad days, it does not mean

I’m destined to be an inadequate mom, or to have a “bad” child.

As we are a “work in progress”,  so is our child.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate^[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

His grace also assures me that the more challenging it is, the more I can rely on Christ.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

And in moments when I’m losing patience, God says it is my duty that to steer myself away from the moment.

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. Hebrews 12:15

That means, go out, take some me-time, or in my case earlier, I locked myself in our room for as long as I could, just to drink in some silence and peace. Worked wonders for my patience.

Tantrums drive me nuts sometimes. More grace, please!

Step back, step out once in a while, Mommies.

Take a deep breath and remember that tomorrow is a brand new day!