As a new parent, I am
aware of the incredible outpouring of emotions towards my son. The love that
flows in my heart for him is constant and surging, free-flowing and seemingly
boundless. When he was a small infant, soft, fragile, sweet, and in need of me,
the love was just gushing out of me. Now at a year old, and a bit more
feisty, playful and interactive, the love takes shape in various,
more active forms—-through constant talking and communicating, through
affectionate touch and embraces, and through discipline. At night when I put
him to bed, I sing to him that I love him and that I always will, forever. And
deep in my heart, I know that to be true, even when the time that he will go
his own way will come, or even if he will disobey me, question my authority, or
even dishonor me. I know that my love for him will never change. But I will
admit to the fact that the thought of him hurting me, while possibly inevitable
(I believe a person will go his own way and sometimes hurting others can’t be
helped; I just pray that he will always be led by the Spirit in all that he
chooses to fight for), is a bit stressful for me to think about right now haha!
But never did it occur to me to give up the fight, to give up mothering, to
give up on my family. Even if I knew for sure that Gabbie will give me a
headache and heartache at some point, I will still choose to have him and take
care of him and love him. Knowing this in my heart certainly puts things in
perspective for me about my God. If I, imperfect to the core, can find such
enduring love for my son, how much more our Creator who has given us Himself
and had us call him, “Abba, Father” (Romans 8:15). And this IS, indeed, what
His grace has given us.
I had been asked by a
friend once, “If God is omniscient, then He must have known that we, His
creation, would eventually sin and fall. Why, then, did He still choose to
create us?” I believe it is because God wanted us to have a relationship with
Him. He wanted us to know His love. He wanted us to know Him. (When we truly
know Him, we will surely stand in faith, bringing Him glory as He had intended)
But the price of that love was very high, yet God still chose to pay for it.
Don’t you see? God has, and always will be, led by love. Love for you and I that
endures the test of time, of trials and backsliding. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate
us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b]neither our fears for today nor our worries about
tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. (Romans
8:38)”
By His grace, our sins
have been removed from us and we have been given right standing with the Lord.
The Lord Jesus Christ has given His own life so that we may have ours to the
full (John 10:10). I remember how my life was without Him—full of darkness,
lies, and fearful relationships. I did not know Him as my Father then. Then, He
saved me. He brought me out to the light and gave me new hope. Everyday, He
paints a fresh layer of my destiny. He gave me, a hopeless sinner, a brand new
start. And by His grace, I am now able to claim the life and purpose He had
intended for me. A glimpse of that are my wonderful husband and sweet baby boy.
They are beautiful, glorious, and completely undeserved, much like my God, much
like His love.
So, when I look at Gabbie
now, and thoughts of future disobedience, insolence, stubbornness and other possible
heartaches enter my mind, I lift up my head to God. I will not be fearful of having
this relationship with my son or of loving him, for my Lord has shown me that
love will indeed conquer all.
I love you, Gabbie. |
Three things will last
forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians
13:13
Beautiful and timely! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Momma! :)
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